Saturday after brunch, I struck out on my own without my voice of shopping reason (Porter) to guide me. Very. Dangerous. Stuff.
Prior to brunch, I'd stopped into John Derian and talked myself OUT of buying a new candle (major coup), but then talked myself into buying a German duster and body scrub brush (pictured) (major setback). Desperately in need of a new suit, I soldiered onto SoHo. Suiting didn't seem to suit me, but I did find two great dresses for Porter to wear in Turkey. And then I went to Pearl River.
Pearl River is like my version of Sam's Club. Where a Sam's Clubber may go in for a jumbo bag of coffee beans and come out with a flat screen TV and a lifetime supply of bar-bq sauce, I entered Pearl River for nothing at all and came out with six blue and white bowls, a tin race car, a straw hat, wooden stick pencils, a blue and white porcelain vase, gardening shears, a carved bone cicada letter opener and the two largest blue and white porcelain planters they sell.
Highly elated and hopeful, I told the doubtful sales guys, "Oh, no worries here, I'll just jump into a cab!"
Those same store guys struggled to help me to the curb. They waved at me on that curb as they took smoke break after smoke break after smoke break. Hopeless despair descended. No available cabs passed.
After generations had elapsed, I tried to lift my planters (and the heavy water catcher platter things) to seek out a more strategic spot. I got 'em up about an inch. With these porcelain balls + chains holding me down and frost bite and tundra muscles (that state of cold when it takes about nine hours for your bottom to thaw) taking hold, I contemplated a shopper's Sophie's Choice: do I leave the beloved planters behind and save myself? I cannot die outside Pearl River!
In the end, I did not die on Broadway, but I almost cried. A cab eventually saved me. I came home, struggled to get everything inside in different trips, and felt pure joy as I unwrapped all my finds and thawed out my bottom. It seems a little agony makes gluttony that much more sweet.