When you couple my crippling issues with books with my absolute abhorance of academic paper writing, it's no surprise that I've never had intentions of spending another day in a classroom. That's not to say that I'm not wildly interested in appearing brilliant and interesting to speak to at parties. Lucky for me, M.I.T. is helping classroom phobes the world over seem like the smartest person in the room. With a couple clicks of a mouse and a few purchases on Amazon (and no tuition fees whatsoever), you can honestly go around dropping bombs like, "we talk about this all the time in my Statistical Thermodynamics of Complex Liquids class at M.I.T." That phrase alone will intimidate all comers so wildly that they'll believe anything you say thereafter -- even if you never crack open one of those Amazon-purchased books. If you're less of an ADD-afflicted phony, you may actually learn a thing or two about Detective Mystery Best Sellers, the British royal family from the Hanovers to QEII or even those pesky enumerative combinatorics.